I'm taking a haitus for the next 3 months because of ...well, many reasons. I still maintain the intention of writing EVERY day, even if it is drivel. I will probably chk in from time to time with updates... 'Bye for now!

I’m going over my first ms. I have times when I think it’s pretty good, times when I think it’s garbage and times when I think it’s ‘workable’ and needs help. I have to put it back in my computer-not sure why, but it is giving me the opportunity to go through and pre-edit, so I guess it is good.

But I’ve had to readjust my schedule. And it was working so well for me, too! So, I’ve decided to get a fresh start next week and give myself time to break into a new routine easy. I still have the goal to get this series published before too long. I just have to prioritize better. That means not necessarily putting writing first anymore (SHOCK!) but I hope it will improve me anyway by being in a better state of mind.

And then, I've decided to write a non-fict book on top of my usual fiction. So I've decided I must be crazy... but at least I'm writing!

Moving on... or back as it were

I finally finished my 2nd MS in my 3 novella series. I have one more, which is actually the ‘first’ one I wrote and put under the bed cuz I didn’t like it. I’m finally feeling like I can go overhaul it but what a job it’s going to be! I keep telling myself not to be intimidated. It’ll be FUN! …And I think so, but I won’t know until I get into it this week. And I’m doing war with the procrastination monster. So wish me luck!

I’ve identified some of the problems:
There isn’t enough sexual tension and conflict, and not enough connection to keep them going- basically while the backbone is good it is BORING. When I wrote it, it was a time in my life where I was afraid of conflict and things going wrong so, while I know conflict drives story, it’s very vanilla. So I want to preserve a little bit but change a whole lot. I’m a little bit intimidated, to be honest, but excited too. My goal is to get it done in 2 months – a little ambitious for me, but I’m still going to try!

Dilemma resolved!

I was sick this last month, but I was able to resolve a long time dilemma for me. I write romance. I loved romance from the time I was nine years old. It was my guilty pleasure. I say guilty, because I was raised in a puritanical religious environment where any sexual relations outside of marriage were taboo. So I’ve read romance novels under the covers of my bed at night and stuck what I was reading off in a corner of my mind “to not think about” until such time as I could resolve it. That time never came. I just kept reading and reading and reading.

Our lives changed and we are not so entrenched in that culture but we still have strong moral feelings about it. So at first I was writing the romance without the sex. It can be done, even in this day and age. But I realized the depths of the relationships I was developing and trying to illustrate were unsatisfying. Because I’ve realized that we are human, and sex is a part of that humanity that reaches us on deep levels and impacts our lives in tremendous ways.

So came the question: do I create situations where my characters have to be married before they even know each other? I know it’s been done. But I didn’t necessarily want that limitation. And so I had to go back and really ask myself what it was about marriage that is so special and made sex okay. It took me a few days but I think I got it. It is the commitment and the permanency of the relationship, the covenant between man and woman and God, whether including a piece of paper or not, that is not taken lightly, as a trial run or a one night stand.

I realized I don’t really care whether there is a ring and a license involved, but I do care that both parties are committed to and working on their relationship. That’s what romance is about. I realized that readers want to see it, experience it vicariously as they hope for the happy ending. After that all things were resolved in my mind and I wasn’t so worried about a piece of paper anymore. It has become easier for me to write my sex scenes now. I still hope they are tactful and beautiful and that they touch a place in my reader’s heart. But at least I feel like I have permission now (grin) and God will not strike me down for it. Phew!

catching up!

I was ill this last month so thought I would catch up.

8-30-10
This past week was very satisfying. I went back and reread a romance writer’s course I had and realized I’d forgotten a few important (for me) points that should make things easier when I actually sit my butt in the chair and write. I also went back to my original goals and decided they ARE doable with a little discipline. So I made a workable daily schedule that, so far, I’m keeping to. The only variable I haven’t control over is my health. So I’m telling myself, because my health is more important than even writing, it is the only thing allowed to slow me down from time to time. So far so good!

8-22-10
I was out of town all last week taking my daughter up to Humboldt University. It was a great opportunity for introspection as I had time in the car to evaluate my goals and when/how to meet them. I realize that I have to further refine my craft and I have all the tools to do it – I’ve just avoided them. I think I’ve been just as afraid of success as failure. I need to change that.

8-2-10
I’m being brave and sending out the novella I edited to a beta reader. ( A beta reader is one who reads for overall impressions/continuity/plot holes etc.) It has been years since I’ve had the courage for that. I got really burned the last time and so now I’m like the lion in The Wizard of Oz. Hopefully this time feedback will be constructive and not what happened before. Wish me luck!

a little rant...

I’m trying to read a book right now. For a week. I’m typically a book/day or 2 girl. I’m only halfway through. I can understand that what turns on one person, turns another one off. I make allowances. But when the believability factor goes out the window in favor of the sex, even if I’m turned off and skip a few pages, that’s when I go bonkers.

But the book is teaching me a few things:
1. What NOT to do with adverbs and adjectives, particularly in sex scenes.
2. How NOT to begin a book (Umm, Back Story anyone?) reveal it later if you absolutely must.
3. How to show animal lust in many different situations with limited vocabulary and without thought or concern for the character you(the hero) are SUPPOSED to be falling in love with.

And on it goes. At least it is not quite as bad as the Beautiful Bella drivel I could only get 1/3 the way through. I suppose I should’ve cared enough to see if that author came up with any other adjectives by the time the series was done but the fact was I didn’t. I’m not sure I care about these characters either. The author hasn’t given me a reason to care. Just reason to raise a brow and question the believability. And that’s without going into scientific anatomy and realistic expectations (Ahem) when it comes to sex.
___________

(4d later): last night I finally finished it. The story get better at the end minus the sex which ended up just plain tedious. But as I stated before it’s a matter of personal preference. At least this book gave me hope. Hope that if I am persistent I will be published. Provided I don’t turn my editor off w/ the sex scenes I write.

did you miss me? LOL

Sorry for my absence. It has been slower going than I wanted.

I continue to write but find myself taking time to edit a different manuscript, go over an old idea, etc. I don’t currently feel as ‘linear goal’ minded as I was a few months ago. I feel like I am making writing progress regardless and maybe when the summer is done I’ll be able to get to more serious writing.

But the good news is that I really feel I'm improving and my writing goes smoother. The manuscript I'm editing is showing me that. One more pass through and I find a beta reader.

Busy and grieving...

What a busy month this has turned out to be! I thought I would finish my draft by the end of June—NOT. I’ve decided the minute you set a goal it’s a red flag to the Universe to 1. LAUGH gleefully and 2. Throw every obstacle conceivable your way. My best friend died, my nephews are ‘visiting’ and numerous other events have combined to thwart my best efforts. So here I sit writing my blog instead of finding my creative juices flowing.

I'm a hybrid!

I’ve decided to hybridize myself. Lots of writers are plotters-they plan out every detail of the path their story will take. And others write by “the seat of their pants” and are called pantsers. I decided to be a combination of both. So I henceforth am a plotster.

I found that I over did the plotting on some of the books I was working on so that I lost interest by the time I sat down to write the story. So then, I decided to be a pantser and not plot anything. I got part way into the story and completely lost the thread of what I was doing, partially because I didn’t know how to portray what was in my head, and my writing fizzled out. So, neither one worked for me.

I asked myself when I had enjoyed writing the most. And found that I do best when I have just a basic character sketch and one-liner clues/basic timeline w/ a few notes on plot conflict and motivation. May be that still makes me a plotter but I still claim the right to take off in a direction that my characters want to go and see where it takes me.

I’ve decided to pull out some of my old manuscripts, ones that I had grown tired of, and rework them a bit without choking the life out of them. I feel better now. The first one I’ll do after I finish this Novella MS because it goes w/ the theme and I hope to sell them as a group/anthology as a start to a series. See, the one I’m doing now was idea #3. #2 is done but #1 was …>Horrible!<… Hopefully I know how to make it work now.

Cablooey! My monitor...

Well, I was just getting into my writing groove last week when my computer monitor went on the blink. Although I knew the computer itself was fine, I could not reach any of my file’s or do anything for a week. I whined to my dad, and he is going to shop for a new monitor (he is the shopping king) and unbeknownst to me he had an old monitor I could use in the mean time. So I’m finally able to get back on the computer and get to my files, including my current manuscript – which I hadn’t backed up in a number of weeks. (That will teach me, right?)

This loaner monitor is ancient and huge with a tiny screen. It has now been deemed the Dinomonitor. But it works and I’m grateful. Thank you, Daddy. It did leave me time to really evaluate the manuscript I was working on and figure out what wasn’t working and what was. I hope to go into writing fresh this week and perform a fairly major overhaul. But I feel good about it and I’m no longer worried about my page quota.

I also plan to combine two other unfinished manuscripts into one story. The construction work continues, give me a hard hat.

adjusting your goals to fit your life!

After much soul searching, trying to figure out what was stumping me about the book I’ve been working on I came up with 2 problems:
1. I was working outside my comfort zone, trying to write a more complex and lengthy story than I’ve ever done before with any measure of success.
2. My goals were a bit unrealistic considering my current situation. I tend to make goals thinking I have completely normal situation, but the fact is I really have to take into consideration my physical challenges and the circumstances of my life.

With those things in mind, I decided not to fight my goals any more and instead set a realistic one that is achievable. I feel like I can breathe now and it feels much better. I was getting all stressed when I was coming up short every week. But the fact is I simply cannot meet the number of pages per day I had thought to be able to, and it was taking all of the excitement out of the creation process for me.

I’ve been writing every day and loving every minute of it and that is the most important thing, because that’s what makes me happy.

When the time comes, I may take this book off the shelf and rework it in a more comfortable format because the story really needs to be told and I think I was going about it all wrong in the effort to worry about Word Count. I’m learning as I go.

I showed up!

I fell short of my goal by 5p last week and seem to be flailing this week. I am inexperienced at writing ‘by the seat of my pants’ and some days the words just flow easier than others. Today admittedly I got caught up in a maelstrom of a few different events. Perhaps I ought to take a moment to write them down – fodder for later but, then again--. At any rate, I’m now 123p in where I would like to be 7p ahead of that. I’m giving up expectations and saying AT LEAST I SHOWED UP FOR THE PAGE. Maybe I can catch up later, maybe not…I still have to live life, right?

“What is success, but the realistic adaptation of a goal to meet the needs of the individual while still achieving the end result?”~KMO

Falling short and getting up again...

I fell a little short of my goal last week to make it all the way to 120 pages. I still have about 15 pages to go. Last week was a really awful week so I guess allowances ought to be made. But I still feel slightly disappointed in myself for not being able to push through to the end. Thankfully, I scheduled in a few extra days for instances such as this. I hope that my muse comes through for me this coming week as our drama is not quite over. My every intention is to make it to at least 120 pages and beyond if possible this coming week.

Part of my dilemma arises from not really being sure where my plot is going next. I’m used to planning things out in detail, but I found out that more often than not I got tired of the story before I wrote it because I did too much planning. So this time, I dove right in completely unaware of where my characters were going to take me. Only problem is they seem to have been really quiet last week, perhaps because of the other things on my mind.

I’ve been searching, and not yet finding, a support group that exists for romance writers outside of RWA. First, because I cannot afford to be a member right now while my husband has been out of work due to the economic situation. And second, because I have been unimpressed by some of the decisions and bureaucracy that exists within the organization. And so I search on.

why I moved

I decided to move my blog over here because I don't have time to mess around online, frankly. I was familiar with the ease of this site from my previous blog, which now I contribute to far less, and found the wordpress site a little tedious to figure out. 1. I want to spend my time writing. 2. We live in the country--> on an old dial-up connection. 3. When I originally set up the wordpress site I was under the impression that you could only have one blog here. So, here I am! Gonna go write now.

Hello world! It's me...

After years of indecision and indirection, not to mention FEAR of the page.. and failure ...and rejection from my peers and ...well, you get the picture, I finally said to heck with it all. I’M A WRITER AND I’M GOUNG TO WRITE! Not only that, but write what I want not what other people expect or what’s trendy or what will validate my ego by demonstrating my intelligence/education etc. I’m just going to WRITE! And for me that means happy endings, sensuality, and a really good plot.

So. I don’t anticipate being here more than once/week and sometimes less. I’ll be writing for at least 4h every day, unless something important comes up i.e. a Dr’s appt, a death, a war >:]

About me: I’m 40, happily married for 22y to my Prince Charming (who provides lots of fodder), with 3 teenagers to keep me busy, when they’re home that is. Oh! I guess one is not a teen anymore! She just turned 20 last month and goes to Humbolt in the fall. Otherwise we have a would-be farm in the country, mainly raising rocks and sage brush. We do have a garden and some chickens and 2 indoor cats to keep us company.

I’m about 80 pages into my first writing project in a LONG, long time. It’s the most complex plot I’ve ever attempted but also the most fun I’ve ever written. Wish me luck! I want to have the first draft done by the end of May…